Always Answer the Question “Why?”
There she sat. In the middle of my dad’s workshop. A 1969 convertible Plymouth Fury, just back from the paint shop with a fresh coat of Blue Fire Metallic paint contrasting with the pristine white top. The car looked like it had just rolled off of the showroom floor, even though it was almost 10 years old. The only problem was it was gathering dust. One of my siblings wrote, “Wash Me” in the thick dust on the trunk. Angered, my dad yelled, “We can’t wash her yet. The paint needs to cure before we wet it”. The next day as I strolled by the beautiful but dusty car, I got an idea. If we can’t wash it, I will just dust it. I’m sure dad will appreciate a dust free car. So, I got a shop cloth and thoroughly dusted the entire car, erasing the “Wash Me” sign in the process.
As I heard my dad approach, I was bursting with excitement. Just wondering what kind of reward might I get? An attaboy? No chores tonight? Extra helping of supper? As my dad entered the shop, my mind was exploring all of these. But, I got a major surprise when my dad saw the car. He made an immediate move for his belt, unlatching it and unleashing it from his waist in a practiced move so fast and fluid that would have made Clint Eastwood proud. All that was missing was that “the Good, the Bad and the Ugly” whistle. And how appropriate as I was right in between the Bad and the Ugly at this moment.
When dad had his belt, often the punishment didn’t equal the crime. The length of the punishment was how long it took him to explain the infraction in between licks. This was going to be a bad one. “Why {lick} – did you – {lick} dust the – {lick} – car – when I -{lick} – told you not to – {lick}. When you – {lick} – dust -{lick} a new paint – {lick} – job you – {lick} – scratch the – {lick} — blankety, blank – {lick} – paint”. Ok, so now I knew the all important “Why”. Water on a new paint job = bad. Dusting a new paint job = worse. So what we had here is failure to communicate.
Answering the question “Why?” can help us improve in all aspects of our lives. As parents, in business, in relationships and in everyday life, just explaining the why will help you in many circumstances. The context around decisions is essential in getting the result you desire. Can you think of situations where you didn’t provide the answer to “Why?” you were doing something a certain way. Zig Ziglar told a story about his wife cooking a ham. Before putting it in the oven, she cut the ends of the ham. He asked why she cut the ends of the ham and she said, “That’s the way momma did it”. They called momma and she said, “That’s the way my momma did it.” So, they called granny. “Granny, why did you cut the ends off your ham?” Granny said, “Because my oven was too small”.
Why do you put the glasses on top and the dishes on bottom in the dishwasher? Why do you put colors in the washer before washing whites with bleach? In business, why do you ask your employees to come into the office? Why do you ask them not to click on unknown links in their emails?
Work on your communication on the “Why?” behind your decisions. It will make a world of difference.